September 2, 2008
Disclaimer
After
writing this devotional today, I felt I needed to add this. Although the
scripture references refer to women and wives as quarrelsome and ill-tempered in
this sense, here is my perspective that I have learned and taught to other men
when they come to me for counseling.
Men,
if you perceive your wife to be nagging and irritable about a subject why
don’t we as men do what it is they are asking and thus they would not be
naggers and ill tempered. So basically it is the fault of the man if the wife is
doing this, because we are not doing or giving what we need to do help them.
Whether it’s taking out the garbage or anything else when my wife needs me to
do it, when I do it, then she won’t have to ask again and then I can’t blame
her for nagging.
This
also applies to our obedience to the Lord.
One
of our team members said, “You know, sometimes the Holy Spirit sounds just
like my wife”.
I
do not like it when God has to ask me to do something twice, it brings me to
conviction and repentance and thus my obedience brings harmony.
So
if you have an issue with your wife why don’t we as husbands look at ourselves
first and find out what we are not doing to give them the peace, understanding
and compassion they need, try it and you will find how harmonious your life will
be. There is only a nagger because there is someone not looking out for their
wife.
PS:
All you wives don’t use this against your husband but help them to understand
your need so that they will do it out of love not just obligation.
Love
in Christ to all of you!
Darrel
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Headache
I woke up this morning with a headache.
As I woke up, I could hear water running off the roof. It dripped down from the eaves trough, though the down-spout in a rhythmic pattern. Sometimes that can be a very soothing sound.
With my head hurting, every drip echoed. Each drip hit with the sound of a loud crash and reverberated in my brain. The quiet soothing water had become a painful, pounding, inescapable noise.
Generally people don’t like noise. They may disagree on what sounds or volume constitute noise, but each person has some sound(s) that grate on their nerves and prove irritating or painful.
One sound that is noise for most people is the sound of constant criticism or quarreling.
In our best efforts to “change” someone, we often become nagging or quarrelsome. We forget that we cannot change another person, only God can. Our attempts to look out for the best interests of the person we love becomes noise in the back of their brain and are counterproductive.
The book of Proverbs has much to say about this kind of noise. Bear in mind that in each proverb, the writer has used one gender or the other, but each proverb applies to both. I say that, so that you don’t use the proverb as a tool to “change” your spouse, family and friends.
Better
to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
Proverbs 21:9 NIV
Better
to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife. Proverbs
21:19 NIV
As
charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling
strife.
Proverbs
26:21 NIV
A
quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; restraining her is
like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand. Proverbs
27:15-16
I’m not suggesting that we should never share constructive criticism (in the right time, place and manner), but we need to ensure that our words do not become painful, dripping noise.
Until
next time, may the words that come out of your mouth be gentle and loving. May
your lips bring soothing sounds not dripping, nagging, noise.
May we give more than we receive, and do before we are asked!
God
bless.
Darrel
Mason